how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
