Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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