Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
