Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
