people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
