no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
