you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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