There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
