Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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