Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
