so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
