Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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