this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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