I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
