i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize