Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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