god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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