Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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