Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
