I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
