Where did you get a picture of my penis
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
