He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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