happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
