Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
