like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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