Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
