I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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