whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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