I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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