So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
