The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
