It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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