Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
