Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
