Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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