Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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