You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
