I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
