summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
