do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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