those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
