Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
