i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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