You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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