I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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