i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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