no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
