Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
