What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
