shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
