i need an iv and a liver transplant
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
