Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
