It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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