It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize