Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
