So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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