either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
