Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
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Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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