Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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