There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
