you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
