It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
