I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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