Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
