my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
