Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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