Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
