I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
